Olga Karpman: There is a phase in your spiritual journey where you feel the loneliest, where you stop trusting your own voice, your intuition, your decisions, people around you, where it feels like everything around you is just collapsing, and it feels very dark and very lonely This is what people call the dark night of the soul, and there is something about this phase that no one really explains.
Olga Karpman: Definitely not in a way that you can feel it You don't wake up one day and clearly understand that you're going through something huge. It's way quieter than that, way deeper, and a lot of times way darker than you can ever explain. It almost feels ancient
Olga Karpman: And things that used to matter, they don't matter anymore, not certainly in the same way. The conversation you find yourself in, it feels empty. Decisions feel way heavier than they should be, and there is this soul-wrenching feeling, and mostly at night, like something is grinding deep inside of you. And the strangest part is you can't put it into words, and you can't really explain what's wrong.
Olga Karpman: And no matter your background, your story, your success, your identity, the roles you play, the mask you wear, you feel it, and you feel it very, very deep. And it actually can be very scary. If that's where you are right now, or if someone close to you is going through something like this, stay here. Stay with me till the very end of this podcast.
Olga Karpman: I don't promise I can change the way you feel, I don't promise I give you answers, but I'll do my very best to help you understand the phases of the dark night of the soul, and maybe let you know that you're not alone. And perhaps, just maybe, something in this will make a little more sense. I'll do my best to help you understand that you are not alone, and maybe, just maybe, something in this will make a little more sense.
Olga Karpman: This is episode four of Unmasked, and I invite you to go a little deeper now. Welcome to Unmasked. I'm Olga Karpman. This is the show about what lies beneath-
Olga Karpman: Welcome back. From the introduction of this podcast, you probably already sensed that this episode will be one of our deep dives into the unknown. So maybe take a moment and make yourself comfortable. Make yourself something warm, cozy, like some warm drink of some sort, and just stay open as we go beneath the surface.
Olga Karpman: You know, lately I actually personally prefer to drink hot or warm water, and I'm not sure why, but there's something so comforting in just warm water. So yeah, I don't know what it is for you, maybe coffee, maybe cold drink. That's great, too. But I'd like to know, maybe you leave me a comment, uh, what are you drinking right now?
Olga Karpman: I promise not to judge, okay? Whatever works. And while listening to this episode, you might notice that something in your mind or your body begins to shift or change, and that's completely normal. Actually, in one of my previous episodes, number three, I gave you the process where we learned how to observe.
Olga Karpman: So if you never listened to it, please go back. It may help you to understand the processes a little deeper, and honestly understand yourself a little deeper. Because the fact that you found this episode is not an accident. I hope you know that. And as we dive deeper into the topic of the dark night of the soul, do your best to stay until the very end, and maybe start observing what comes up.
Olga Karpman: Will you notice? What is your thought process? Something will come up to the surface as you listen to this. And you know what's interesting? When we hear something important, something inside start moving and shifting without you even knowing what it is The body will start reacting maybe too. You might feel a little discomfort in your body.
Olga Karpman: That's okay. That's normal. And you might wanna shift your focus even. Someone will try to call you, something might interrupt you listening to this episode, or a part of you maybe even wants to stop listening and even judging. But that's okay, too. It's us, right? We all have that. If that happens but you still feel that this is important for you to stay, just pause the audio, come back when you can, and listen until the very end Because what comes up while you listening might be exactly what you need to see.
Olga Karpman: That's part of the unmasking process. Let's begin. So what is exactly the dark night of the soul? First, let me assure you, it's not something you plan or you can prepare for. It's not something you consciously walk into, and most of the time you don't even realize that you're in it. And people actually call it different things.
Olga Karpman: Some call it the dark night of the soul, some call it an awakening, some experience it as a breakdown or deep identity shift, but no matter what name you give it, it's a phase where something in you no longer aligns with the life you've been living. The identity you built, the roles you've been playing, the direction you were moving in, something about it stops feeling true.
Olga Karpman: And just to be clear, it doesn't happen all at once, but slowly, quietly, almost like a whisper, and there are no clear answers, no clear next steps, just a feeling that something is really, really off, that something is shifting. You also feel that you can't go back to how things were, and at the same time you don't have a clear path forward, and this is where it gets very confusing.
Olga Karpman: In that moment, it can feel like something is really wrong with you personally, like you're broken And you might even mistake this phase for depression, and in fact, it's often labeled that way. And of course, I'm not a medical professional, and I'm not giving any medical advice here. Please seek professional help if you feel that you need it.
Olga Karpman: I'm simply sharing my own experience and the experience of some of my friends and clients. I just know that some people, when going through this phase, start thinking, "Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe something is so wrong with me, the way I live, the way I think, the way I act." And maybe they just need to go back to how things were a month ago, a year ago, 10 years ago.
Olga Karpman: But the problem is going back doesn't work anymore. It just doesn't feel right anymore. You know, it's like a caterpillar that's ready to become a butterfly. It can only move forward and go through the chrysalis process all the way till the very end, and that's where it starts to get really, really uncomfortable.
Olga Karpman: But wait, that caterpillar is still trying to live the life that was built It did feel comfortable at some point. What's wrong with me now? And identity made sense, and wait, I can still do the same things. I can still be friends with the same people. I can follow the same routes. I can follow the same routines day in and day out.
Olga Karpman: But inside of that caterpillar, there is a huge gap between who it used to be and who it's becoming. It's almost like emptiness. It's like, it's almost when you got sick, and you lost the taste for food. But this time, you lost taste for life, and that gap is really hard to sit with because it doesn't come with answers, doesn't come with guidance.
Olga Karpman: There's just a deep, deep discomfort, and something feels really off. The mind keeps trying to figure it out, label it, explain it, but it is not something to solve like a puzzle. You're already inside of it. This is the beginning of your dark night of the soul. Yes. For those of you who thought there is the end soon, very soon, I cannot tell you.
Olga Karpman: I just know that this stage is just the beginning, and it does have stages, and no one really knows how long your particular process will take. But you know what? Time at this point is not even relevant because the place you are moving into doesn't follow the same sense of time. It doesn't follow the same sense of space.
Olga Karpman: This process is the great unknown, an enigma, if you will. And your soul, your spirit chose long ago to enter this at this exact moment in time As if it was already set in motion a long, long before you even realized it. Why? We'll get there, but this podcast is going to slowly uncover different layers of this process.
Olga Karpman: It's not possible to go through everything in one episode, but stay with me. If you wish, subscribe, and you'll be seeing more. Dive deep. So stay with me. Subscribe if you wish, because we are going to go way deeper into this in many, many stages of this process. So dark night of the soul, the name of it sounds very big, sometimes even dramatic, but what it actually feels like is very simple.
Olga Karpman: It feels like you're not fully in your life anymore, like you're watching it on a sideline The only difference is, and the discomfort of it, is that you're not connected. You're not connected to your life anymore in the same way as you used to. Maybe you have a family, relationships, relatives, friends, and sometimes you can look at them and you catch yourself not feeling the same connection.
Olga Karpman: And if you have a job you've been doing for a while, it might suddenly feel very boring, distant, like you're just going through the motions, and you're just doing something day in, day out. You might even feel disconnected from your kids. I know you love them. You know you love them, but why are you disconnected?
Olga Karpman: Or even your partner of many years? And that's exactly what makes you feel very scared. Am I right? Because it feels like you're losing. You're losing something. You're losing all of them, and you're not sure you'll ever get it back
Olga Karpman: So what's actually happening is the old version of you and the life you build around that version of you starts to fall away. Not because someone did something wrong, not because something is good or bad. Remember, at some point we'll try not to label things, just look at them as they are. It happens because it's no longer true to you
Olga Karpman: It's like that caterpillar that was happily moving around, eating one leaf after another, growing bigger, heavier, more satisfied, and then when the time is right, it has to let that go. It starts building its cocoon on the way to becoming a butterfly. The caterpillar enters a very quiet and very private stage, and she doesn't want anyone in there, and I mean anyone.
Olga Karpman: It doesn't want anyone to be part of this process, not even her loved ones, not her closest friends, anyone. Maybe if she feels very scared, very lonely, she might find one guide, but even then, this process is internal, very private, and completely unique to the soul's path At this point, you don't really have the words or the energy to explain what's happening to you, and people will naturally start assuming things.
Olga Karpman: Maybe complaining that you're ignoring them, you don't love them, that you're somehow betrayed them, you're not the way you used to be, and so on, and so on, and so on If this has already started happening to you and you don't know how to handle it, and you don't know even what to say, or you don't have the energy to engage, my only suggestion from my own experience of being on both sides of this is this, maybe try to find just a teeny tiny bit of energy to send them this podcast and say, "Look, I can't explain you exactly what I'm feeling, but Olga somehow found few words to say what's happening.
Olga Karpman: So please be patient with me. I'm going through something very personal right now, something very difficult, and I just need a little bit of space And when I'm through it, I really hope we'll be able to reconnect again Look, the truth is that your people, your tribe will hear you, and they will stay with you on the other side of this.
Olga Karpman: And those who are meant to go, they will go. Simple as that. So hopefully, if you feel this, Unmasked and this community at some point in your journey can become your tribe. Of course, if it resonates with you or someone you love. If it does, somewhere in the description of this episode, my team left a link to the page where you can fill out the form, and hopefully we can be connected in some way or another at some point on your journey.
Olga Karpman: And I really hope to see you personally in one of our online or offline events and, uh, really connect and hear your story. Because from my own experience and the experience of my friends and clients who have gone through the dark night of the soul, this particular phase can't really be explained or rushed or sped up or skipped.
Olga Karpman: It unfolds the way it unfolds in your own timing, and it's important to be surrounded by people who can hold the space. That's all you need, and that can be one of the hardest parts, to find those people. You see, naturally our mind will start to look clarity. Those are the old programs that our mind is running.
Olga Karpman: It wants direction. It wants to know what to do next. It wants to be brave. It wants to be a problem solver. But this part, it's not about doing. It's actually only about staying It is staying with yourself even when it's uncomfortable, even when it feels like nothing is happening. Trust me, a lot is happening underneath the surface There is a reason this part exists.
Olga Karpman: You might not see it yet, just like a caterpillar doesn't see itself as a butterfly, but I'm sure you can feel something. You definitely feel that you're on the right path. You just don't see the way out yet, and guess what? You don't have to, not just yet. Just let yourself be. Just stay with the process, and really trust that Creator, God, or whatever you believe in, has its own plan for you, and that you are moving through this not alone.
Olga Karpman: You are supported, and you are loved. And at some point, I'm not sure exactly when, everything that is no longer you starts to loosen, and when that happens, it can feel like things are falling apart in your thoughts, in your body, in your emotions, in your relationships, in your career or finances. You might start feeling things you haven't felt in years: old memories, old patterns, old fears, old wounds, forgotten people and experiences that you pushed deep down inside, childhood trauma, generational patterns, grief, a lot of grief, as if you're feeling sadness as a heavy weight on your chest, as almost if it's not only yours, but of all humanity.
Olga Karpman: It's very, very heavy. And at this stage, it's important to understand that nothing is wrong with you. You start feeling it because you are opening your mind and your heart to see, to feel things that are beneath the surface, and you are ready to go deeper, even deeper, even deeper, to meet your shadows, your fears, your hidden desires, and face them, meet them.
Olga Karpman: But not to judge them Not to be ashamed of them, but to accept them as they are. But we'll get there a little later in one of the next episodes, not now. And yes, this part of the process can feel really heavy, and there can be moments where it feels like too much, like you can't take it anymore, and in those moments, it's important to stay in it.
Olga Karpman: Don't rush. Don't try to fix it. Just pause, breathe, move, walk, run, hike, drink plenty of water, and help your body process these heavy layers of old patterns, old ways of living. You don't need them anymore. You don't even need to label anything. You don't need to understand anything. You don't even need to talk it through with a therapist for years and years.
Olga Karpman: Train yourself to create new neural pathway, and say just one word: observe. I remember when I was so exhausted from thinking about the emotions, events that were coming up in my memory vault, and out of desperation, I almost put that word observe on repeat in my head. I remember driving and saying, "Observe, observe, observe," because waves of emotions just were flooding through me, and every time I felt confused, I didn't know why, I just felt it, or I felt sad or depleted, and I couldn't take it anymore, I would say it again and again on repeat: observe, observe, observe And it was as if that word had something magical attached to it.
Olga Karpman: After repeating it a few times, something greater than me, like my higher self, would lift me out of my body and place me on top of a mountain where I was sitting quietly, observing my own emotions, thoughts, and even fears. They were just passing by, minding their own business. And, you know, soon enough, it became my not only daily practice, but hourly practice, because more stuff was coming through me, and my way to not be inside of those emotional hurricanes or flood of memories pulling me back into the past was just to say one word: observe.
Olga Karpman: I learned how to be here and now, and simply observe. I know it's easier said than done, but just try it. Just take it like a game. You know how kids do? They just take everything like a game, and they're like, "Oh, okay, I like this word. Let me just say it." And you'll remember it. Every time emotions come, just say observe and sit on the mountain.
Olga Karpman: And if you feel scared, lonely on the mountain, you can always call me and I'll be your company We'll laugh together, we'll look through your memories and emotions just like a movie passing by, and it's not an escape. We don't wanna label anything either. We don't wanna think through our past events and say if they were good or bad, I was this, I was that, I wish I did this, I wish I did that.
Olga Karpman: Don't push anything down either. Just let it come through. Not to disconnect, not to ignore, just observe without judgment, without action, without the need to fix anything, just letting it be and letting it pass through. Because when you're fully inside it, everything feels intense, huge, heavy, and endless.
Olga Karpman: And guess what? You're creating more energy like that to bring other unfortunate events in your life. But the moment you observe, the moment you get out of it, you are on your path to start shifting your inner state to attract completely different energy and events in your life. Something softens, and even just a little bit, just that teeny-tiny shift, that's already enough.
Olga Karpman: You don't need to figure out the entire life right now. You don't need to even figure out the next step You don't have to have all the answers. You don't need to rush into a new version of yourself right now. Just don't leave yourself in this. Don't leave yourself in those emotions that you're spinning around.
Olga Karpman: Observe. Get out of them, and stay, even if it's quiet, even if it's confusing, even if it feels very slow because others are so fast, and everything happening so fast at our age, in the time we're living. This part, as uncomfortable as it is, is not here to harm you. It's here because something deeper is reorganizing for your greater good.
Olga Karpman: It's you, the caterpillar, already wrapped in the outer layer of the cocoon, getting ready for complete transformation. It's not thinking about how it's gonna look or feel. It doesn't even know yet that it will be able to fly, or how beautiful everything will become, or how free it will be. It's still inside the cocoon, and even though it's small and feels disconnected from the rest of the world, it is safe.
Olga Karpman: So just trust the process. You'll be safe. You are safe, and it knows that one day it will become a butterfly. Creator always has a divine plan for every living being, and you are one of them. You're not alone in this, even if it feels like it, and you're not losing yourself. You're just no longer that version of you You're emerging into something way bigger, deeper, and more beautiful, and this something new is slowly finding its place, finding your own enigma.
Olga Karpman: Trust it and observe. Dear friend, I was honored to record this podcast for you based on my own experience and experience of my loved ones, and if this feels close to what you're going through right now or someone you love or know struggling with this phase of dark night of the soul right now, I would be deeply honored if you subscribe to the podcast and leave your honest review.
Olga Karpman: And if you share it with your friends, great. With community, amazing. But all I care about is you. So if you'd like to connect with me personally through our events online or offline, there is a link around this episode where you can find more information, and together we can decide what fits best for you on this phase of your journey I know this process is a tough one, and most of the time people don't even talk about it out loud, don't know how to be, how to help, and I don't promise that I have all the answers.
Olga Karpman: As a matter of fact, I actually don't. Of course I don't. But I might know just how to hold the space for you in this because there is a fear of being judged and misunderstood, and that's why we are not opening up, and we are going deeper and deeper and deeper into something that we scared. I will be honored if we get to know each other at some point on your journey.
Olga Karpman: So thank you so much for tuning in to Unmasked. I'm Olga Karpman, and I hope to see you in the next episode. Remember, observe and be. Bye now.
